In his famous book, How to Win Friends and Influence People (first published in 1936), Dale Carnegie – the great public speaker, personal improvement trainer, and prolific author – showed that success very much hinges on your ability to ‘influence people’.
In fact, as I think back, my greatest successes have been with people who have liked and admired me … and my greatest challenges have been with those who haven’t.
You can invent the greatest mouse-trap in the world, but nobody will beat a path to your door if they smell a rat 😉
This is Dale Carnegie’s summary of his own book; apply some of these ideas and you will succeed in life.
Remember, no matter what you do other people are the key to your success:
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
- Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
- Give honest and sincere appreciation.
- Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Six ways to make people like you
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
- Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.
Win people to your way of thinking
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- Begin in a friendly way.
- Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
- Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
- Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
- Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
- Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- Throw down a challenge.
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
A leader’s job often includes changing your people’s attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:
- Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
- Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
- Let the other person save face.
- Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
- Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
- Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
Sound advice from one of the 'soundest advisors' of all time ... just wish I had paid attention sooner ... I would have been sitting on the beach, sipping pina-coladas 10 years earlier!