In his famous book, How to Win Friends and Influence People (first published in 1936), Dale Carnegie – the great public speaker, personal improvement trainer, and prolific author – showed that success very much hinges on your ability to ‘influence people’.
In fact, as I think back, my greatest successes have been with people who have liked and admired me … and my greatest challenges have been with those who haven’t.
You can invent the greatest mouse-trap in the world, but nobody will beat a path to your door if they smell a rat 😉
This is Dale Carnegie’s summary of his own book; apply some of these ideas and you will succeed in life.
Remember, no matter what you do other people are the key to your success:
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
- Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
- Give honest and sincere appreciation.
- Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Part Two
Six ways to make people like you
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Smile.
- Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
- Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.
Part Three
Win people to your way of thinking
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- Begin in a friendly way.
- Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
- Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
- Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
- Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
- Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- Throw down a challenge.
Part Four
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
A leader’s job often includes changing your people’s attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:
- Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
- Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
- Let the other person save face.
- Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
- Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
- Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
Sound advice from one of the 'soundest advisors' of all time ... just wish I had paid attention sooner ... I would have been sitting on the beach, sipping pina-coladas 10 years earlier!
AJC.
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I love Dale Carnegie. I’ve still got his tapes on how to ‘Stop Worrying and Start Living’.
I like all old-school productivity/self improvement gurus over the new ones.
@ bogrdoc – some of the ‘old standards’ are still the best .., still Oprah seems to push the ‘new guys” (Ekhart Tolle, ‘The Secret’ folks, etc.) …
I use many of these ideas, having read the book before, yet didn’t realize where the approach came from.
AJC, I would like to see if you would be interested in guest writing on my Blog!
@ brentlane – Thanks for your comment … and, invitation! AJC.
I’m currently reading Dale Carnegie’s How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. I love it. I wasn’t sure which one to read first. “Influence” or “How to Stop Worrying”. Should I read How to Influence People first? Either way, I’m sure I’ll extract some great things from both of them.
Thanks for the article.
@ Anthony – Thanks for your comment! I gave you the summary so that you could “Stop Reading and Start Doing” 😉
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Thanks for summarizing his points so well – I’m going to bookmark this for the next time I need to critique someone else’s work and suggest improvements 🙂